Communication Skills - Kids

Being an effective communicator takes real skill. Kids need guidance from their parents to learn how to communicate effectively and politely. Good listening skills, self-control, use of good grammar, and sensitivity are all skills that are learned.

What Kids Love

Kids love tongue twisters and store new words in their vocabulary by repeating them again and again. They also love nursery rhymes and songs. Try reading them aloud. This can be started at an early stage. I used do this with my son, Gabriel, right from when he was 3 months old. As a result, he loves to recite his nursery rhymes today. He also loves being praised for the same. If we praise him and say to him, “Wow! Gabriel, you said it very well,” he sometimes likes to go on and on. With those actions that accompany his recital, I must say he looks really cute! I guess all kids love getting appreciated for what they do. In fact, they really thrive in the glow of our attention and appreciation.

Who doesn’t love appreciation? Even adults do—I love it. I guess, in this respect, we never stop being kids. The difference is: As kids we can simply ask for appreciation and receive it. However, as adults the best way to receive appreciation is to give it to others. The universe will naturally give it back to you.

Things to Remember

• Parents should maintain proper eye contact with their kids when talking to them. Kids can tell by our facial expressions and our tone of voice whether we are listening or not. When you are with your kids, talk and listen to them constantly. Say funny things, just to make them laugh.
• One day while talking on my cell phone, Gabriel, was observing me and that’s when it occurred to me, maybe I could buy him a toy phone to encourage him to talk. I am sure that you too could find some creative ways to encourage your kids to talk.
• Reinforce that arguing and screaming may not be the best way to communicate. However, when correcting them, make sure you have your emotions under control. If you scream and throw a tantrum about their screaming and tantrum throwing, what you end up reinforcing is that very behavior you are trying to correct.

Start Early

Start very young. You can help kids improve communication skills long before they can speak. A child learns 80% of what he’s going to learn in his whole life before he’s 5 years old.

Love is also discipline. It’s best to start when the kids are quite young, and practice consistent loving discipline by setting limits for them to follow for their own good. Parents need to sometimes punish their kids when they do wrong. This punishment should not involve spanking or any other form of physical pain. Just withholding a reward or even your affection can be a powerful deterrent.

Never correct them if you have no control over your own anger. Anger is a powerful tool when you can control it. Use anger; don’t let anger use you. This is possible if your real intention is to evoke love in the heart of your kids. Love never fails. Once you are sure of your real intention, you can use your anger to be firm and communicate the rules and limits to your kids.

Never show boredom with their chatter; it is all important to him as he explores the new world of language. Another thing to remember is to answer your kids’ questions no matter how many they ask. If we say we are “Busy” or “Be quiet” this becomes frustrating for them. Then they start to throw their tantrums.

Your attention is the best gift you can give them. That is pure love. If you don’t give it to them legitimately, they will try illegitimate means to get it. Just love them endlessly. The more of love and attention you give them, the more of it you will receive in the very act of giving.